A cry inside my heart

You know the feeling that you can't accept who you are.
That a part of you wants to be the person everybody expects you to be.
That a part of you wants to act the way the society wants you to act.
That a part of you wants to CONFORM and be so-called normal in the eyes of the public.

I want that. I always wanted that.

It's hard to be different especially if you don't know why you're like that.

It's hard to be a bi-sexual female. Hey, I'm not a lesbian, I had 2 boyfriends before.
But at the back of mind me, someone is whispering to me that I want to be with a girl.

"If i were boy..."

I don't want this feeling. I hate it. I didn't choose to be like this, to have a crush on girls, to sometimes act a little manly.. In fact, I want to be just a girl.

I wonder why I was born this way. Sometimes, I pray to God to just take away this kind of feeling towards girls coz I know that it is not right.

I can't do anything about it. No matter how I try to control myself, I'm just too weak.. Really. :(